O Behave!
Hillarious stuff
CLERK
(reading)
Danger Powers, personal effects.
AUSTIN
Actually, my name's Austin Powers.
CLERK
It says here, name Danger Powers.
AUSTIN
Danger's my middle name.
CLERK
OK, Austin Danger Powers: One blue
crushed-velvet suit. One frilly
lace cravat. One gold medallion
with peace symbol. One pair of
Italian shoes. One pair of tie-dyed
socks, purple. One vinyl recording
album: Tom Jones, Live at Las Vegas.
One Swedish-made penis enlarger pump.
AUSTIN
(embarrassed)
That's not mine.
CLERK
(reading)
One credit card receipt for Swedish-
made penis enlarger pump, signed
Austin Powers.
AUSTIN
I'm telling you, baby, that's not
mine.
CLERK
(reading)
One warranty card for Swedish-made
penis enlarger pump, filled out by
Austin Powers.
AUSTIN
I don't even know what this is.
This sort of thing ain't my bag,
baby.
CLERK
(reading)
One book: Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger
Pumps and Me: This Sort of Thing Is
My Bag, Baby, by Austin Powers.
The clerk shows the book to Austin, who is humiliated.
AUSTIN
OK, OK man, don't get heavy, I'll
sign. Just to get things moving,
baby.
CLERK
(reading)
Danger Powers, personal effects.
AUSTIN
Actually, my name's Austin Powers.
CLERK
It says here, name Danger Powers.
AUSTIN
Danger's my middle name.
CLERK
OK, Austin Danger Powers: One blue
crushed-velvet suit. One frilly
lace cravat. One gold medallion
with peace symbol. One pair of
Italian shoes. One pair of tie-dyed
socks, purple. One vinyl recording
album: Tom Jones, Live at Las Vegas.
One Swedish-made penis enlarger pump.
AUSTIN
(embarrassed)
That's not mine.
CLERK
(reading)
One credit card receipt for Swedish-
made penis enlarger pump, signed
Austin Powers.
AUSTIN
I'm telling you, baby, that's not
mine.
CLERK
(reading)
One warranty card for Swedish-made
penis enlarger pump, filled out by
Austin Powers.
AUSTIN
I don't even know what this is.
This sort of thing ain't my bag,
baby.
CLERK
(reading)
One book: Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger
Pumps and Me: This Sort of Thing Is
My Bag, Baby, by Austin Powers.
The clerk shows the book to Austin, who is humiliated.
AUSTIN
OK, OK man, don't get heavy, I'll
sign. Just to get things moving,
baby.
